Dunkin Donuts

First off, let it be known that I love Dunkin Donuts. I drink my coffee from a DD travel mug, I think Munchkins are a fantastic excuse to eat 3 regular donuts worth of donut in bite size form, I believe that the DD chocolate frosted donut is the perfect version of a donut.

This is a 2.8mb hi-res image of the greatest donut ever. Click on it and taste greatness.
This is a 2.8mb hi-res image of the greatest donut ever. Click on it and taste greatness.

I remember the donut guy commercials, I regularly say “time to make the donuts” when I get ready to stuff that has nothing to do with donuts, I even remember DD cereal. They had this sausage English muffin thing a few years ago…awesome. Healthy egg-white snack wrap things? Awesome.

I clearly remember the kid named Greg that lived in the corner house at the end of the street with the asshole of an older brother had this in his parents kitchen.
I clearly remember the kid named Greg that lived in the corner house at the end of the street with the asshole of an older brother had this in his parents kitchen.

You know I’m not alone in this view either, look here at Super Bowl Champion Joe Flacco, I bet we could bro out over what to pick while waiting in line at DD.

Flacco. DD. Awesome.
Flacco. DD. Awesome.

That’s why it saddens and hurts me to say that the chicken breakfast biscuit from DD is not very good.

Next stop, disappointment.
Next stop, disappointment.

The biscuit itself is ok, and holds the sole redeeming traits of the experience. It’s buttery, dense, and rich, but feels industrial. Like those weird sandwiches in vending machines, it’s just off.

Not big enough to impress, not unique enough to warrant revisiting.
Not big enough to impress, not unique enough to warrant revisiting.

Where things really go to hell is the chicken they put on this thing. It’s the to a chicken patty from a microwaved Hungry-Man dinner. Weird, chewy, lukewarm, soggy on the outside, and with a funny aftertaste.

An inch and a half of let down: the Dunkin biscuit story.
An inch and a half of let down: the Dunkin biscuit story.

Again, I love Dunkin, America RUNS on it if the ads are to be believed, but this is a biscuit better left alone.

See you next time, when I tell the tale of an exploding beer.

Your host,

Charlie Mewshaw

PS – We are at 40% of the goal for the Triathlon-a-Thon! Want to make a tangible difference in the lives of people with intellectual and developmental disabilities by helping their furry friends? Of course you do, jerks don’t read this site! So go to the link below and consider a donation, I’ll send you a shirt to say thanks:

https://www.crowdrise.com/biscuits-whiskey-and-beer-charity-triathlon-a-thon/